Grab the opportunity!

There are such wonderful new opportunities these days, up for grabs for any self-respecting intelligence agency eager to get on in the world. For instance, the public transport companies in the Netherlands have decided that paper tickets are so past tense — chip cards are where it is. And unless you pay extra, your chipcard will be personalized and you need to swipe it at the beginning and at the end of every journey. And those details will be recorded. And kept, into the ages of ages.

Which we, happy customers, won’t mind at all. Dutch Rail knows its customers, said their boss recently, and he just knows we won’t mind. And of course we will be delighted if this information is used for commercial purposes — and we don’t like it, we’ll just be glad to pay a little more. And, of course, we’re fiercely patriotic enough to really love it when all this lovely data is commandeered by the Dutch intelligence agency, the AIVD. It’s for our safety and protection! We must unite to safeguard our democracy.

And do we believe the more expensive cards are really anonymous? Do we believe we won’t be suspect if we want one of those? Of course! We believe! All hail the wisdom of our government. They know what’s good for us, and we cannot but bow our heads in admiration for them.

And don’t think you will escape by driving a car: your itinerary will be registered. It is your car, it’s you who is driving it. And just like your car won’t be stolen by terrorists and criminals, so whatever happens is your fault, your OV Card won’t be stolen. And you are your mobile phone. Do not deny it. Be happy, and obey.